Jism2 – My Review

Yesterday I spent the evening at a friend’s place over an Iftar gathering. We were around fifteen guys and my friend’s wife had cooked the best possible assortment of Kozikoden snacks and dinner. Starting 6:18PM (Maghrib call for prayer) till around 8:00 I hogged and hogged, so much that I couldn’t sit comfortably. The food was so good that I stuffed in the Chicken Majboos standing. I couldn’t sit. If I had, I’d have surely burst my trouser button. Needless to mention, I had to shelve my plans for watching the 9:00PM show of Jism2.

I stayed back and had a nice lazy evening chatting with my friends over two large glasses of black tea infused with some secret spices. That was the best part of the day.

I left from my friend’s place at 11:10PM. I should have driven back to my house and dozed off, but my basic instincts took control and forced me straight to the Gulf Cinema. The theatre was empty, and I didn’t have any problem getting a ticket for the 11:30 show of Jism2. That was the beginning of the worse part. What a time to spoil my otherwise wonderful day!

For me, and those few tharki (for the exact meaning look up the website http://www.urbandictionary.com ) Nepalese and North Indian brothers who came to the theatre with hungry eyes and an almost erect dong, it was a huge let down. In real terms it was a KLPD (again look up the website http://www.urbandictionary.com for the exact meaning). Even some of the songs were deleted. There were no sex scenes and no vulgarity what so ever, except for Arif Zakaria, who brought up a very horny ejaculating like expression on his face while taking an injection for his Cancer treatment.

My conclusion – Jism2 is not an ‘A’ movie.

Sunny Leone is shown playing the role of a dumb girl; needless to say she didn’t have to do any acting at all. The only thing that was missing was her blonde hair, or else at least her appearance would have been perfect. Although not mentioned explicitly, she is shown as someone who suffers from acute Asthma. I too am asthmatic and so could empathise with her condition. There is not one scene in the movie, where she is not breathing heavily or panting. She pants even when she stands still leaning against the wall. And when she does that her huge breasts go up and down, and in exact synchrony to that, in the theatre, the eyes (and some heads too) of my Nepalese brothers go up and down in a metachronal rhythm throughout the movie. At one point I even tweeted “If those melons are so heavy, why doesn’t she leave them at home”

As the movie started I thought that the dialogues were pathetic, however some of the ones said by Randeep in the latter part of the movie were really good, and poetic. However, most of them were stolen from famous poets of the likes of the great Faiz Ahmed Faiz and even from the Bible. Again, the good part is that, the dialogue writer Shagufta Rafique realized that all the other characters in this movie are utter chutes (for the third time look up the website http://www.urbandictionary.com ) and deserve to converse like retrards.

Randeep Hooda (the only saving grace, the lone star of this movie) as Kabir is excellent. I will say that this Kabir is as good as or at times even better than the Kabir played by John Abraham in Jism.  In short, this is not a movie for boys. Although it has a porn star in Sunny Leone, this movie is for women and gay men to drool on over Randeep and the other guy (if you ignore his acting and just concentrate on his physique). By the way, I don’t know the other guy’s name, and don’t intend to know either.

However, you’ll note that there’s no link between Jism and Jism2. Jism2 is not a sequel to Jism in any way. The star cast is different, the director is different and the story is miles apart. Oops sorry, did I say story? Jism2 has a plot but no story. Most of what Pooja Bhatt has shown here is bullshit and below average. But then, which porn movie has a story. Again, this is not a pure porn movie either. Effing disappointment!!

But the movie does underline the fact that love is blind, that love gets thicker with betrayal, that there is pain in love and that Sex is an integral part of love. The movie does attempt to personify a great Ghazal sung by Begum Akhter and written by Shakeel Badayuni “Aye Muhabbat tere naam pe rona aaya”, but sadly fails.

There is also another guy in the movie. I don’t know who he is, and I don’t know his name, but he a pathetic actor and reminds you of the fact that the couch system does exist in our film industry. Let us not talk about him.

I’d rate the movie 1/5. And the lone one star goes out to Randeep and all those couplets by famous Urdu poets reposted aptly by Shagufta Rafique.

So, to all the boys, if you are planning to watch Jism2 for Sunny Leone, the porn star, don’t watch it in a theatre. Don’t even waste money buying a CD. Download one of her earlier porn movies free of charge from any of the many torrent sites. That’s all her acting is worth!

If like me, you are a lover of Urdu poetry, go to www.youtube.com and listen to some nice Ghazals. There are plenty of them sung by Jagjit Singh, Mehdi Hassan, Ghulam Ali, and Begum Akhter or better still, buy a CD.