Unofficially
speaking the peak temperature has touched 50oC in Qatar today. Officially
it would be a few degrees less. :-P
So what’s new
about it? Nothing absolutely! It does get this hot, and even more during this
time of the year, every year. So? Why this blog now?
I had my wife’s
fiery Fish Biryani for lunch today and was feeling more than a bit lazy after
the hogging. And so I thought that it would be a wonderful idea to go down and
take a post lunch power nap in my car with the air condition on and Mehdi
Hassan crooning away. My car was parked far and the sun was up and on its
brightest ever, yet I was determined. Actually for me no hurdle is tough enough
to overcome, as long as the ultimate reward has to do with snoozing.
I was halfway
my destination, all drenched in sweat when I got this call from my imaginary girlfriend.
Like me, she was wet, sticky and hot too. But her heat was of the different kind. It has
been raining in Kerala and she has been enjoying it, soaking in the rain
thinking about me and singing, pleading to me “hai hai yeh majboori, yeh
mausam aur yeh doori”.
I was getting
desperate already. Oh! How I wished I could throw away this job and go back
home and laze on her rain soaked bosom.
I was already
in a trance, enjoying my lazy walk in my ‘pingg chexx’ lungi folded half-mast
and experiencing the tickle of muddy water and tiny insects flicked onto my
buttocks from my Paragon hawai chappals when I accidentally touched the door of
my car and burned my index finger. Oops!
Reality
Bites. Yes, it does. And it does in ways more than one. Later back in my office’s
washroom, I burned my gluteus maximus when I tried using the shattaf after a
routine visit to the loo. That was it! I had found my moment, and I decided
that it was just the right time to write a blog.
Today’s
lesson learnt:
Hot jet of
water + Remanent of spices from the fiery fish biryani = 2 C7H5N3O6 → 3 N2 + 5 H2O + 7 CO + 7 C =
Explosion of TNT under your seat.
Our folks in
India think that these high temperatures do not affect us gulfies. But that is
not the case. They believe that since we are mostly in an air conditioned environment
(whether while travelling or stationary) we suffer less. Well, maybe yes but we
have our own woes, and this blog is dedicated to managing those effectively.
As a gulfie,
there are a few things that we should do, five to be precise. Which are:
1.
Check our car tyre
Unlike how it
is back home in India, out here in the gulf we don’t have the luxury of a
driver (or a chauffeur). Here, we have to drive our own car, and if we have a
flat tyre, we have to change it ourselves. And if you are travelling with
family, kids can create quite a ruckus in such situations. If you are thinking
that you’ll find help, think again. Expats are here just to make money and so
they won’t stop to help. Locals drive at exorbitant speeds and the only way
that you can stop one of them is if you are carrying along a Russian hottie in
a skimpy dress. Since the chances that you’ll have one such gadget in your car
are zilch, just follow this basic checklist.
·
Check the tyre pressure.
Pressure in the tyres can increase with the increase in temperature outside. If
it is high, get it corrected. The recommended tyre pressure for summer should
be mentioned in your car’s manual.
·
Check your tyre’s tread
wear and tear. If it is worn out, change it. During peak summer, the
temperature of the road can be much higher than what’s shown on your
thermometer. Don’t wait for the tyre to burst on the highway. That can be
catastrophic.
And while you
check the above for your four tyres, don’t forget the fifth one. There’s no
point changing a flat tyre with another one that’s going to burst soon, right?
2.
Drink well, pee well
Drink lots of
water and pee well. Check the colour of your urine matching it with a ‘Dehydration
Chart’. If the colour of your urine is turning darker, chances are that you are
getting dehydrated, drink as much water as you can. Don’t drink colas or fizzy
drinks. They only make it worse.
3.
Use the water heater
water
Yes! Turn the
tap to the ‘red’ side and use the water stored in the water heater. Fortunately
for us gulfies, we have huge container water heaters in our homes and offices.
These heaters are installed safely inside the bathrooms and away from the
blazing sun, and contain enough cool water for one person’s daily use.
Especially when kids are to use the bathroom, turn the faucet to the heater
side.
And yes, don’t
forget to turn the water heater’s main switch off during summer!
4.
Start using paper
Yes, there’s
global warming, and yes we have to save the trees. But I think it is okay to
fell a few trees to save one’s own ass. Believe me, your ass would be a very
grateful ass if you used tissue paper for the next two months. I wouldn’t want
mine to be abused on a daily basis by a jet of hot blazing water… and with the
kind of spicy cooking that we indulge in…. no… never.
5.
Send your family away
It is vacation
time for the kids, so just send them away from here. Send them home, back to
India. Let the kids enjoy, run and play in the rain. If you are a stay home
dad, go to your hometown, the climate out there is just right to rekindle the flames
with your ex. If you are a stay home mom, go and get pampered by your mother.
As for people
who are here to make money, there’s no choice. Stay back in this desert and
work. Anyways, you can always visit the nearest pub and down a few beers to
chill up.
And don’t
forget to stock your quota of beers before mid-July. Starting 20 July there
will be no liquor in the pubs.
