Friday, December 31, 2010

Boys lost / Found forever

Life has been generally very eventful, starting from the second day itself. I was born on the 31st of December 1972. It was New Year’s Eve and immediately after I was born, people all over the world started to binge on and lose control. Sadly, the very next day the records said that I was born last year. How fast can one age? But somehow, the aging process stopped once I left home in 1990 to take up college. Since then, I’ve liked to believe that I am just a boy.

I was that typical mallu kid brought up in a small town outside Kerala. The ones who could not converse fluently in their own mother tongue, yet loved to crack jokes on their parent’s mallu accent! The ones who loved their mallu food, mallu movies, the Kerala rains, those beautiful sandy beaches and every other thing about the God’s Own Country, but not the idea of living down there beyond a month’s vacation.

As a kid, I had my own close knit gang of friends and my friends, like me were from dislocated mallu families. We were a gang of five and I had Ani, Tom, Deep and Stan as my best buddies.

Anirrudha Thomas, Ani was the most charming guy in our group. He was also the guy who had a motorbike at the age of thirteen and the only one who possessed a money purse. He was always loaded with enough cash. His house had everything that I could fathom of at that age; all the latest electronic equipment and gadgets, beaded curtains, sofa set with plush cushions, a glass top dining table, exclusive chinaware and, also by far the biggest TV Antenna ever atop his three storied bungalow. He was definitely the wealthiest one of us all. His dad had moved to Gujarat in the lookout for a livelihood and started his career twenty years back as a truck driver. They now owned five oil tankers and he maintained that his dad made all the money transporting oil from the refinery in Baroda to various cities in Gujarat, which we boys liked to believe, was fake. We were convinced that his dad and his cronies illegally tapped oil from the refinery and sold it in the black market. That was the only way they could make so much money! What ever it was, he had the right genes, the ones that were responsible for being notorious. But, what ever he did, he was not as notorious as Tom.

Tom Daniel was our science teacher, Elyamma Madam’s son. She was also our most hated teacher, and this was no secret. The amount of hate we had for Elyamma Madam was directly proportional to the love we had for Tom. Tom was the potential gangster in our group. He had this quintessential help all, fight for all attitude. Someone who’d go that extra mile to help you and end up in deep shit himself. He was also undoubtedly the boldest guy in the gang and the undisputed leader of the pack. We three were chaddi-buddies, and our friendship began primarily because our parents were family friends and took us to the same church. Our parents used to team up on Sundays after the mass to have illegally procured brandy and laze away playing the card game of rummy; which almost always ended up in a lot of commotion. The Sunday meetings stopped for me once my dad left for the KSA, but I hanged on to them. After my dad left, mom got increasingly worried about my academics and later, on the suggestion of Elyamma Aunty, Tom’s mom, changed my school. And lo, there I was, in the same class, VII-C as that of Ani and Tom. This was cool, but the only hitch was that mom’s friend now became my teacher, and I was totally under her radar. Every Sunday after church they would meet and mom would ask Madam, “How is Sweety in Class? Is he doing well?” and her response invariably would be “Oh, this boy, he is a paavam, doesn’t even open his mouth.” And she would look at me and say “He has that innocent look and that naughty smile, I know he is up to something, you just wait…. I will catch you one day” and then they’d start talking about their usual stuff, just to allow me to sneak out with my buddies.

It is in this new school and new class that I met Pradeep, or just Deep as we used to call him. He was the guy who was custodian to the heaviest balls in the school. Don’t get mistaken. Deep was a sports oriented guy and a district champion in our age group and his sport involved a ball, that’s why. Not a football or basket ball or cricket ball or even a hockey ball; these balls were too light for him. He was a shot putter. He was the biggest guy in our school and, the rate at which he grew; we estimated that by the age of forty, he would be as big as King Kong. Except for the size and his ability to throw iron balls farther than how much I could a tennis ball, he had no filling in the head. It was empty or so we believed, for the all the dumb things that he used to do. But he had a genuine heart for us and for our enemies, a punch that could break the jaw. His size always came handy whenever we had any disputes. Tom would start it and Deep would finish it. That was the norm.

Stanley was Tom’s cousin. He was three years elder to us and we got acquainted to him when he along with his father and sister came to settle down in Baroda. This was a positive move initiated after a string of negative things that happened in their family. Stan and his family lived in Abu Dhabi, where his dad worked as a Car Mechanic and his mom as a Head Nurse in one of the biggest hospitals. Needless to say, his mom was the real bread earner. His dad, was a habitual drunkard, didn’t have a permit to drink in that country, got caught, was put in jail for a week and ultimately deported along with his dependent kids to India. His mom, who was on her own visa stayed back. With a ban on entering Middle East and no potent source of livelihood in Kerala, his dad took the harsh decision of moving to Baroda, where the kids could go to the same school that their aunt, Elyamma taught. The plan was that his dad could look for a job or even start something of his own and later on when things settled down fairly, look for a new house and move out to their own place. One of the other reasons, why his dad decided to come to Gujarat and not go to their other relatives in Bangalore or Calcutta was that he had resolved not to get into his tippling habit again and what better place for penance then the only state in India where liquor is banned. But, was this man going to change? And the answer was, A BIG NO! As time went by, they found an independent house very near to Tom’s, broke the wall of their new living room, fixed a rolling shutter and started a spare parts shop. This was the only spare parts shop in whole of Baroda which sold illegal liquor. And as statistics went, this was their biggest business.

The five of us did innumerable naughty to notorious things together. While at school we did silly things like peeing in the wash basin; drawing caricatures and scribbling our words of wisdom on the bathroom walls; making crank phone calls to our teachers from Stan’s shop; stop alongside the road on our cycle ride back from school, just waiting for the girls to ride by and try to peep into their skirts and find if we could spot the colour of their panties while the girls noticing us would desperately try to hold it down with one hand; coupling up girls and boys bicycles and locking them up together with a common chain lock and many more. Those were the usual and miscellaneous things that we used to do.

I still cherish those long bicycle rides on the weekends; stealing Mangoes, Guavas and Bananas from the orchards on the way and pedal off on brief sojourns to those scenic spots and the banks of river Narmada. As all kids do, we too had our internal games. We had something of our own; games like ‘who pees farthest’, ‘longest snake pee’ and ‘touch the marbles’. Unlike the first two, which was like an event game, played en route our usual bicycle rides, ‘touch the marbles’ was a never ending game. The rules of the game were simple; just hit the balls of any one of your unsuspecting buddies and keep a record of it. At the end of the week, the guy who has the least number of hits pays for the bhajias and samosas on our weekend bike ride. As it was always, the biggest guy was the weakest. He just could never manage to hit us on the crotch. Or was it? I always believed that he never hit because, if he really did, I would die. Anyways, losing the game did not have any fiscal issues with him. As always, it was Ani who paid.

We also had our gang fights. One of them was, when we were caught plucking bananas. On that day, one of the watchmen who held us lost a tooth and possibly his job too because as we left the place after that big box punch from Deep, we ransacked the field and fled, never to tread that road again. Its not that we always beat up and ran; on one occasion we guys were all beaten up black and blue. Tom picked up a fight at a Science Fair with some local boys at the Gujarati Medium affiliate of our School in his usual style playing chivalry to one of the local girls, who later on became his better half. As usual, he started it, but this time Deep could not end it. The boys were inside enemy territory. In no time we got cornered and were showered with hockey sticks and cycle chain blows from all sides. Luckily, the teachers intervened and we lived to see another day; but the saviours we not kind, they taunted at us, and referred to the English Medium students as softies and publicly warned that we should not be seen again in those premises. We were hurt and for next few days maintained a low profile and dared not to get involved in any sort of mess. So much, that we barely even talked to each other. This period of hibernation lasted for a week and the boys couldn’t help, but regroup and get back into sync. But, for the boys that we were, we didn’t plan to leave it there, we had to strike back. That school building was just single storied and I masterminded an attack. After much deliberation, the boys endorsed an onslaught, which would take place nearly a month after the fateful event. It was summer time and like most teenage boys in Gujarat do at that time of the year, we too got permission from our respective parents to sleep on the terrace of our apartment blocks. One night, as programmed, each one of us packed up all the detergent that we could from our homes, picked up some strong rope and some waste grease and a can of coal tar from Stan’s shop and headed for that school before it dawned. We parked our bicycles at a distance and jumped over the boundary wall from the back side. The boys made a human pyramid and helped me to climb over the eaves. From there, I lowered down the rope and pulled some bricks, made a platform and climbed on to the terrace; tied the rope to a firm pipe and in no time we all were on the roof. At the terrace, it was just a matter of one strong kick and Deep broke open the stairway door. We went down and emptied all the detergent into the overhead drinking water tank, coated their main hallway with coal tar and grease, broke open the principal’s cabin and painted ‘PODA MAYIRE’ in bold on his desk, and left the scene the way we entered. As we sat back on our bicycles, we turned, looked back and showed our middle finger and rode away on what was possibly one of the best rides that we had in days.

I was generally average in schoolwork and at times even touched my buddies’ low levels too, but my parents decided to believe otherwise. They kept telling me that I was brilliant and that I could make it. Somehow they managed to con me into believing this lie and pinned on all their great expectations on me. That was the 80’s and like every other first time migrant middle class household, I, the boy born after two daughters, the God’s gift, was their blue-eyed boy and their only source of hope. The hope of a rest assured future. The only hope that they would be redeemed well for all the sacrifices they made in their personal lives. They also drilled into my mind that the only way to fulfil their dream was by me becoming an Engineer. Not that the girls were not intelligent or capable. There were just no expectations.

Back then, getting into an Engineering College was not a matter of Money. It was pure numbers. And in Gujarat, those numbers had to come from your 12th Board Exams. As a kid, I was not the engineering types. I must be the only kid who had all his childhood toys intact and the very rare one, who never assayed into dissecting any of them to understand its mechanics. As it was with most of the kids my age in that decade, I was not cognizant enough of my strengths and weaknesses. I didn’t have any aspirations of my own and the best and the only option available was to do as I was said to. And so, fuelled by their faith, I embarked on this journey. The journey to become the first ever Engineer in our Tharavad. Somewhere in 1988, despite living a dirty mix of bad mallu boy gangs and those nooky experiments with local gujju girls, I, Jacob Sweety Nelson, managed to do extremely well in my 10th Board Exams. I didn’t know how, but, this happened. Back then, the 10th Board Exams were the prelims for gauging a kid’s likely performance in 12th. And so, immediately after, my parents were joined in their dream by our friends, relatives, neighbours et al. Now, I was suddenly everyone’s new found hope. I was a nephew to one, and lived in the other’s neighbourhood, for someone else I was the closest family friend’s son and the other was just my teacher. The company that I so loved to be in, my mallu boy gang was now branded ‘inappropriate’ and the elders tried to coax me out of it, lest I should lose track. I didn’t budge, but. While everyone else was plotting to win, I lost. The boys despised me for being the new kid their parents adopted. They dumped me and lost into the oblivious by lanes of lesser trades like commerce and arts. The girl in my life was secretly learning the art of making soft idlis and non vegetarian mallu recipes, but I dumped her and resolved that, for the ensuing two years, I would do nothing but just study.

As it was demanded of me, I stopped being a boy. The neighbourhood kids would come under our apartment and shout “ey seeti ey seeti….seeti,….” calling me out to play, but I had important things to do. Study! As it went, they stopped calling and left me with my books. As I sat in my room and shifted from Chemistry to Physics to Calculus, I would watch the boys on the ground shifted from gilli-danda to cricket to ise-pise. I was deeply frustrated and wanted to break free, but I was kept reminded that I belonged to an elite company of academic, intellectual and serious kids. Yes, I had my new friends. Like me, these guys were studious, got special treatment at home over siblings, were looked up to by their parents, and extraordinarily boring. All of them behaved like smart asses and tried to talk big and correct. The only other place they visited other than School was those myriad tuition classes one for each subject, which was spread out over the length and breadth of the city. Sports in general were banned by the parents. If at all, Chess was the in sport, but the less smart ones like me were allowed to stray into lawn tennis and swimming; nothing else. They never did anything wrong or inappropriate. They would never ogle on aunties melons and never heard anyone speak about masturbation. I kept to believing, that it was only me and Jai who had this dark side.

Yes, Jai. He was my next door neighbour. Unfortunately, he too did well in the 10th Board Exams and was overloaded with expectations. In fact, he did better than me. His only advantage was that he was from the Vernacular Medium cause of which he was not as popular in our circles and so didn’t have the burden of redeeming the whole migrant junta for their sacrifices. And, he was the smart one too. He didn’t dump his girl, nor lose his core buddies. Didn’t have to. His girl too did well in her secondary academics and their parents became immediate friends and brought the idea of ‘ek se bhale do!’ Soon, Jai and his sweetheart, Hetal were seen sharing their moped rides to school and tuitions and partnering joint night-out studies. I was jealous.

While their parents slept peaceful nights dreaming of distributing laddoos and jalebis on the Board Exam Result Day, these two shifted their academics pursuit from science to kamasutra. Theirs was a mix of Physics, Chemistry and Biology. Eventually, Jai mastered the arts of unhooking a bra with just two fingers and withdrawing just in time to ejaculate outside the hole. The second one was an important achievement, ‘cause buying condoms was not an easy task those days, let it for a 16 year old. As he mastered the various acts and positions in sex, he developed a feeling that he was coming of age. Soon, he started smoking and would on some days invite me for a smoke at our apartment terrace. His intention though, was to boast about his coital exploits and make me feel low and demeaned, but I enjoyed listening. Playing elder, he would offer me to organize reconciliation between me and my ex, which I kept avoiding. Not that I didn’t want it. I was just scared that my mom or sisters would find out. Although I kept vehemently denying it, this guy knew that deep inside, my testosterone levels were brimming. He had a plan. To let me vent out my carnal frustrations, he would at times get me a porn video cassette or BP as we used to call it in those times. Actually, it was not me that he was helping. He was taking care of himself. He had the sources to get a BP, but did not have a Video Cassette Player at his place and that’s how I got revealed to his dark side. It was about give and take and this gujju boy knew how to do business. Along with this player, my dad, who toiled hard to make his monies in gulf, had got us this fantastic cable, which could let us watch the video on two television sets at the same time. Fortunately, for us, the cable was long enough and we both managed to establish a permanent line between our flats by hiding these cables behind potted plants and other furniture. As soon as our mothers would go out to the local market for making their daily groceries purchases, we would swing into action. In my house, it was pure pleasure in solitude, but next door, he and his mate were actually taking practical classes and reinventing the various positions. An account of which he would give to me during our smoke outs.

Time went by and the term was to end. It was time for the big exam. My mom, in all her sincerity, did her best to please me and keep me focussed to the ultimate goal, albeit, the girls in the house were creating a ruckus. I had all the priorities. I got almond milk, fresh juices and all the other exotic stuff, had the best shoes, clothes and many other liberties at home while my sisters grumbled. I was sad for them, but was anyone listening? It was exam time and I was not allowed to ride my bicycle to the exams, lest I got involved in an accident or so. Since dad was away, my maternal uncle ‘Maaman’ volunteered. And one day, it was finally over. The exams done, Jai’s parents asked him now to stop going around with that girl! He rebelled and was expelled to their home town at Vareli in Surat, while the girl was put under house arrest. I didn’t like my current company and tried going back to my old mallu boy gang. But, by now, the boys had changed; I was too slow for them and in no time, out. They dumped me again. Eventually, I was alone. Having no friends and nothing to do, I would just take my bicycle and go on a long ride to no where, just to come back late and see a tense and worried mom spewing with anger. I didn’t rebel. I did not have the guts to.

After a lonely vacation of some three odd months, the results were out. I managed to do well, but not great, not as great as the guys from the elite gang, they managed to do extremely well. But my achievement was much bigger. Jai and this girl both failed miserably. We lived in a place called Gorwa, which could well be dubbed as ‘The Ghetto’ of Baroda and academics was not generally in the blood. Of all the kids who gave the exam from my locality, I was the only one left standing, rest all fell. For the next few days, everyone would interview me on how I managed this feat and I would proudly say, “…I used to study every night till 2AM…”, “…..Mom used to give me almonds… not the local ones….these are from gulf…. my dad sent them…” and all those blah-blahing. I enjoyed the attention. While the other guys enrolled into coaching classes for medicals and IITs, I chose to apply for the local engineering colleges. And while doing so, inadvertently, ticked ‘yes’ on the box for REC, little did I know, this was going to be my fate.

REC is the acronym of Regional Engineering College. These were 20 colleges created under the joint cooperative collaboration of the Central Government of India and the various State Governments on equal partnership. These colleges don’t exist now. In 2003, these were made autonomous and rechristened as the NIT or the National Institute of Technology and taken over entirely by the Central Government.

The interviews for engineering were in Ahmedabad, and I remember travelling with my Maaman, who took a day off to help me with the admission. On our train journey, Maaman explained me the essence of being an engineer and how my interview today is going to change my life. It all depended on the branch I got and that I should look for either Mechanical or Electrical Engineering and grab whichever I get, no matter which college it is. Civil Engineering was looked down upon. “There’s no value” he said “Civil Engineers are working for Rs.400/- per month salaries at the Narmada Dam Project, what good is it. Nothing.” And to add to it, I was also asthmatic, so I should not think of anything to do with cement. I went in for the interview, while my uncle waited outside. I was given a platter of available options within Gujarat and in those many RECs throughout India. And out of which, I chose to pick, Civil Engineering at the REC, Calicut. As I walked out of the chamber and confronted Maaman, he pointed to the electronic display board above and reprimanded “Why Civil? And, how Calicut?……you had these options in Gujarat itself….. why not this?, why not that?……didn’t you understand what I told to you on the train….”. I just stood there, looked away and said “I chose this”. Infact Maaman was flummoxed; he couldn’t digest the idea of someone from Gujarat getting into a college in Kerala without appearing for the entrance and thought that I was bluffing at this critical juncture. To make this one easy for him, I had to explain the fundamentals of how the REC system worked. He kept staring at me with an annoyed look, said “Okay then, we’ll go back, where are your papers….” and grabbed them and we left. To this day, I don’t know why I made that choice. At that time I was very naïve and really did not have any high regards for Civil Engineering as the subject or even looked up at Civil Engineers as nation builders. Not that I had any innate desire to go back to Kerala. Was I running away? Was it my way of punishing myself? Or was I punishing someone else? I don’t know. But, I did it. And it was a decision, which would weigh down heavily on many.

Those days, there were no mobile phones, and we didn’t have a telephone connection at home, and so, the only way to deliver this information at my house and to all those eagerly waiting in the neighbourhood was to deliver it in person. It was late in the evening by the time we reached home and as we got down from the auto, I saw three eager and anxious faces in our balcony. As I informed them of the choice, my mom who was standing, slouched on to the sofa, and my sisters stared at me agape. As obvious as it seemed, their response was, that they were not happy. They were not as much worried about anything as much they were about me going away. As genuine a person that my uncle is, he did not reveal that it was my goof up and, consoled mom saying that this was one of he best colleges to send me to. Later that evening, I and mom went to my dad’s old office in Baroda and send him a Telex message. The clerk typing in the message typed Cuttak instead of Calicut and my dad retorted back with a “No” After the corrections were made, he was glad, that I was going back to his motherland.

People in our neighbourhood as well as our friend circles were generally happy and congratulated on my admission. Some were genuinely happy, others were happy because I managed to get only into a lesser trade. As my future plans were solidifying, I started getting scared. Scared of the unknown. I did not know what to look out for or what to expect and I secretly wished that something wrong would happen and that I could stay back.

There was yet no Konkan Railway and travelling from Gujarat to Kerala was some task and mom wanted us to travel sufficiently in advance so that we could spend a couple of weeks at our hometown, Kannur before I headed for college. Unfortunately, tickets were not easily available and we had to wait for a month before the family, excluding my dad got aboard the two and a half day long sweaty train journey to Kerala touching all the south Indian states. I was already late for admission and to make matters worse, as it was with the railways, our train got delayed. At Palakkad, our bogie was detached and left in the yard overnight and we finally reached Kannur, our hometown with a delay of twelve hours. The very next day I packed in a few essentials in my favourite blue rucksack and left with my mom and a cousin to Calicut. Remember taking one of the longest and scariest bus rides from Calicut City to Kunnamangalam REC. Coming from a near desert like city, I loved seeing so much greenery around, and was charged on getting an overdose of it but, still felt that the vegetation around was not well managed. We made initial enquiries at the Main Canteen next to the bus stop, and the ‘Maash’ over there directed us to the Main Building or the MB as it is popularly known.

On our way to the MB we saw many guys walking along the main road with books in their hand and looked like old students from the college, most of them had bad hairdos, piercing eyes, were shabbily dressed and to my utter dismay were sporting bathroom slippers. I just looked down on them and I bet they were thinking "new bakra in college".

I was late to claim my admission and so, after a light reprimand the clerk from the Admission Office took us to the Registrar, who asked us to meet the Vice Principal, guess it was Prof Moni. He took us to the Principal’s Office, where my cousin waited outside. The Principal, Prof UKP had his own set of questions to ask to which my mom responded in Malayalam. She showed him a postal receipt of the telegram that we sent informing the college of my delayed arrival. I just stood next to her with an innocent look on my face and kept nodding my head. Finally, without saying anything affirmative, UKP wrote something on my papers, signed it and asked us to leave. We thought we were late and have lost the admission. My cousin’s blood pressure was already raising, my mom had a worried look and I had no clue of what happened. At that point of time, for me, it would have been just fine if I was asked to leave and go back. I was thinking “It would be nice to go back to Baroda and do some college. I could have a bike and try to get back to my old friends”. But the clerk who accompanied us form the Registrar’s Office had other plans. He was going to ruin my day. He informed to my mom in Malayalam that classes have started but we could do some additional paperwork and then it would be okay.

At the Admission Office, everyone who read my form had an amused look on their face. Possibly, like all the others they too thought that 'Sweety' was a name only eligible of girls and pet dogs! Anyways, after some one hour or so all the paper work was done and I was officially an Engineering Student. We were then directed to Hostel ‘A’ and asked not to wait for long on the ground floor. There was a batch lagging and we had third semester seniors (the ones desperately waiting to rag freshmen)occupying those rooms on the ground floor.

On our short walk from the MB to Hostel ‘A’, we saw the 'CREC College Bus' and I thought "WOW, a bus full of budding engineers". At the hostel office, I was informed of my room number and that I have a namesake roommate. We reached the room, which was in one corner of the second floor. At the room I had the first meeting with my namesake roommate, the guy would ultimately become one of my best friends in the coming years – Jacob ‘Jee’ Varghese. Jee quickly listed my mom the basic things that I would require to survive – a mattress, a bucket, a mug and some essentials like soap, detergent sachets etc and told us that we could buy it at the Co-operative Store near the canteen. My mom gave me some money and asked me to buy all those stuff in the evening and asked me to visit her at Kannur the coming weekend to collect all my remaining stuff and also see her off back to Baroda. She then told Jee in Malayalam that I was just a kid and that he should take care of me and wake me up on time or else I’d keep sleeping and miss college. That was Jacob Varghese. Even on the first day of college he had that father figure look on him. He was a mallu guy from Bhilai from what was then, the undivided Madhya Pradesh.

After a light peck on my cheek, my mom posited me in Jee’s care and left with my cousin. I kept following her in the corridor and as I was about to follow her down the flight of steps, Jee pulled me back saying “Don’t go down, there are seniors there. Ragging.” I waved them a bye and walked back to the room with my new roommate. As my mom and cousin walked back to the main road I stood there, in my new room, looking out of the window with teary eyes, feeling like an abandoned child. Jee, stood next to me with his hand on my shoulder. As tears rolled down my cheek, he patted on my shoulder, seeming to say “All will be okay buddy” and I had this wonderful feeling akin finding a long lost friend. That evening, I couldn’t buy my bucket and all the stuff as the new mallu guy in my life stopped me from venturing out, for the risk of falling into the senior’s hands, who were prying around on the main road. He had already started taking care of me. As the day went, I was made to understand that, we were six in a room meant for three; two mallu dislocates, one tamilian and three biharis and therefore would have to share the cot and cupboards. Without a doubt, I just clung on to Jee. He gave me the cot and put his mattress on the floor, asked me to go to bed, got dressed up in all formals and left the room for his daily ragging session. As I lied down alone in that room that first night, a sudden and deep sense of loneliness crept in. Lonely I was, but excited to be free. I was also happy for myself for finding a new friend whom I could rely upon; for being free and have no more of mom’s restrictions at all. I closed my eyes and I visualized myself flying. Later that night, Jee returned back after his daily ragging session and introduced me to two more Bhilai mallus, Manoj and Shibu. They seemed familiar, and deep down I knew there were more to discover. The three of them with some other MPites kept swearing on the seniors all night long and the boys dozed off one over the other without changing their clothes and with their shoes on. As the days passed by, my new friends helped me shop all the required wares and get all my stuff. During the weekend they helped me escape out of the hostel to visit my mom and sisters in Kannur, They shielded me well from my gujju seniors for over a week, during which I found Harish from Kumbakonam, Gokul from Mumbai, Joy from Rourkela and Anil from Pune, just some more mallu boys like me. Each one of them was special and different in their own right. But there was one thing that was common to us; the uncanny sense of humour, the eye for mischief and that fraud mallu spirit. Then, I met the best one of them all, Mitul. He was my opposite, the gujju guy from Aluva. Now, I had my own boy gang which would later on levitate me on to one of the most cherished, fun filled and exciting journeys of my life. As time elapsed, more buddies joined and I let myself loose. Finally, I was the boy I longed to be for so long and I resolved not to grow up.

It's my birthday....

It’s the 31st of December and all my friends must be eagerly waiting for the sun to set, so that they can go on with their plans for their New Year’s Party. For me, like every other year this day is a hectic day. Primarily because it is my birthday today and I have to be awake very early to respond to all the phone calls from my friends and relatives.

My sons, Kevin and Yohan made great birthday cards for me and my wife, Tara just put a bang into the day and transported me back to my good old Mumbai days by serving me maska-pav and chai for breakfast. For lunch she plans to take me to my other favourite destination – Kozikkode with her Malabar Chicken Biryani. And to top it all, I’ll be cutting a Home Baked Strawberry Cheese Cake on this 38th birthday. In the evening we are heading to my friend Rinesh’s place for our usual ‘drink and get fit’ party that will go on till beyond midnight and after many days I will have the pleasure of snoring away in the passenger seat as Tara drives a very fit man back home.

So, all my friends who are busy, can go on with their chores and those who are just waiting for the sun to set and looking out desperately for something to kill their time can go on to my next blog post and have a relaxed read. I was inspired to write this after Girish R asked for our similar experiences on his Facebook note ‘My First Day in CREC’. Whilst most of it is facts, I have woven in streaks of fiction to make my otherwise boring life story interesting as also to avoid any legal comebacks, I have changed the names of some old friends who now are not part of my life… so, read responsibly and enjoy.

It’s my birthday!!





Sunday, November 14, 2010

Happy Children’s Day

Today is 14th of November, the desi Children’s Day (Baal Divas in Hindi) and what a great day to write my kids blog!

Today, children (& teachers) all over India go amuck celebrating. It is also one of those few ‘National Days’ which is not a public holiday. Today kids in India attend school, but bring no books along. Most schools give away sweets; some even give food and let the kids spend all day playing and wreaking havoc in their classrooms, while their teachers use this spare time to do what Indians do best - lazing. The male teachers spend time chewing tobacco, chatting and flirting with their young female counterparts while, the old ladies (the serious types) holed up in their staff rooms, are taken into their favourite pastime reading sleazy juicy stories published in various Hindi and Malayalam periodicals like ‘Grihashoba’, ‘Madhur Kathayein’, ‘Vanita’ or ‘Mahilaratnam’ to name a few. Some industrious ones would bring along their idea of ‘homework’ to school and could be seen performing household chores like chopping vegetables or beading fall onto the edge of a saree that their hubby dearest gifted them this Diwali. In short, it is that day when going to school actually means lots of fun and freedom to do what one likes most, and most importantly; it is that day, when a child is allowed to be one.

Talking about children, this year the yield has been good. I don’t know if it was the weather last year or if God was simply being gracious, but this year, it has been raining kids in my circle of family and friends. Last year, someone (name withheld on purpose to protect my wellbeing) who had problems with his back and found it difficult to ride four wheel drives on a bumpy construction site road or carry out bare minimal chores like bending and sitting long on his workstation, ultimately proceeded on a three month long medical leave and managed to impregnate his wife with fraternal twins! My sister Sheena, who is an avid follower of this blog was blessed with her first kid and son, Anuj. My cousins haven’t been less productive either. Two of them have added more members to their family and another one, keeping up with the recent trend in our family gave birth to a son within the first year of her marriage.

I have always wanted to have a baby girl in my house and I truly, madly, deeply hate my failure to make one. Amongst my friends, few have mastered the art of producing a baby girl and I envy them all. Last month, my best friend and brother, Harish a-k-a ‘Talli’ was blessed with a second daughter, Yubha. It is true that best friends hurt us most with their successes. While I was sulking at his achievement, other girl creators within my infamous CREC circle, tried to pep me up with advices like ‘try harder next time’ and ‘try another position’. Well, I have been blessed with two notorious little ones, and, borrowing words from that imaginary cranky, nutty and absent-minded professor whose stories are ubiquitous to every engineering college, let me proclaim “I have two sons, and both of them are boys” and I swear they are quite a handful and that I am definitely not going to try any further. I dare not.

My elder boy, Kevin, believes that he is a reincarnate of Hulk while the younger one, Yohan, who is a born footballer, kicks and knocks off anything in his view. He has already broken our floor lamp twice, brought down the Shoe Rack once and ripped off the keys from my laptop after pouring milk all over it. Yohan has recently developed a new penchant for artwork and has so far decorated the bottom one meter of all the naked walls in our house with his very complex and modern artistry. And amongst this ruckus that my boys are wreaking at home, I am reinventing my boyhood. I have joined in. I am not sure, if that is what a good dad must do, but I am enjoying; and I am sure the boys are too. I and my boys have now successfully cornered the lady of the house and converted this place into ‘The Boyzone’. The lady, although grumbles occasionally; has unofficially given up. For her, three boys walking around the house in their underwear and watching television with one hand scratching the crotch is a familiar sight to which she has reconciled. It is okay to play cricket, football and basket ball within the house and it is okay to break an artefact. As I write all this, I wonder if life would have been the same with a little girl around. Would I have grown younger (as now) or older? Guess, having a girl around would’ve brought in a reason to look disciplined, sound responsible and act mature. Maybe life would’ve been better, but I am not enjoying any less now and I am happy for that. I am so grateful to God for the boys that he has blessed me with. In my house, everyday is Children's Day. 

Enjoy.

‘Sab ko Baal Divas ki hardik Shubakamanayein’ (Wishing everyone a Happy Children’s day – in Hindi)

PS: Today morning I passed on ‘Baal Divas Wishes’ to one of my friends with a receding hairline and he got offended. Could someone tell me why?

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Welcome to the KeYoberfest!

After a month long break I am back to my blog writing. What started as an amenable husband’s promise, moved on to resolve itself into a weekly routine, grew into a travelogue and later, when expectations started trickling in, just managed to disappear altogether in its own inimitable style. Well that’s me, and I welcome you all to the Chapter 2 of my introduction. I am not methodical. I don’t like rules. I hate the routine and please don’t pin your great expectations on me. I guess this takes you all to that intriguing question “So why is he back here today?” Well, I am here to share some good news and some bad news. I intend to end today’s blog in an upbeat and positive mode, so here’s the bad one first.

Few days back some good folks at my workplace decided to go on a soft team building exercise; and what better way to do that than knocking off a few pins at the bowling alley. So, last week, on 29th September 2010, for the first time in the twenty odd months that I have been in Qatar, I visited a bowling alley. I put up a decent show in the alley and had a great time gelling with my colleagues. I was just beginning to fall in love my company all over again, but the very next day it all turned sour. That Thursday, all my project mates were summoned for an urgent meeting in the conference room and my visiting Top Bosses informed of our second pay cut. Last year, same time we were asked to do away with 4% of our pay and this year it would be another 8%. So much under the pretext of recession!

As many of my friends in India were preparing to take away hefty six figure Diwali Bonuses and envisioning celebrating life through this ensuing festive season, I was taken panicky and was visualizing clouds. Thick black clouds! Needless to say, these approaching clouds had put me in a pensive mood and taken away the cheer. Attending to office work during the last week was tough. Finally, last weekend, I borrowed some courage from my little boys; shut myself in the bedroom; pulled up a blanket; closed my eyes and stared up fearlessly at those clouds and tried to read them. And all I could read were two words ‘MOVE - ON’. I was confused. What was the message? Were they telling me to hold on headfast and move on with my life or were they asking me to get up, pack my stuff and move on from here to some place else. Anyways there was an important lesson learnt: ‘Knowing the mere answer is not enough, one should also be able to decipher it inside out’. And it was now my task to decipher it. Or in other words, it was my decision to take. Phew!

My management’s recent move had sent out a strong negative signal and alarmed me well of a possible murky future in sight. What good is a company to work for, if they are unable to even raise enough money to run their day to day businesses? And what worth is a company, whose top management views cutting wages as the only available option to make profits. Shucks! It hurts. It hurts, not because of the lesser pay check, but because this comes as an abuse and an insult to all the good work that I and all my colleagues have done on this project so far. I had already made up my mind to quit and move on. And to reinforce my decision on moving on, I called upon my old guru, Newton whose Law of Inertia literally drives me from listlessness. Yes, I am referring to that same guy with long tresses and a pointy nose, which invariably points at an angle ninety degrees away from his line of sight.

I began by asking him if the force of this abuse was good enough to push me into another state or direction and his answer was “No and Yes”. While I was trying to figure out the meaning of his answer, Newton explained that he wanted me to wait and have faith in the future and believe that the current force is too miniscule to push me into changing tracks. When he was done with the advising, he pulled out his monocles, and once again carefully pried at the clouds. He then gave out a playful smile as if he had spotted a sliver lining in those thick black clouds and let out “Fifty Five days” and vanished, leaving me awake and more lost than ever.

I woke up from my trance and asked myself: What is the significance of ‘fifty five days’? What was going to happen in (or rather after) fifty five days? Would the clouds burst off and wreak havoc or was it going to rain jewels and happiness. I guess anything could happen and the last thing that I could do was, hum on to Doris Day’s ‘Que Sera Sera’, get on with my chores and leave the future to itself. Curious, I picked up my calendar and added up fifty five days, which took me to the 2nd of December 2010. Found out that this is the day which could make or break a million hearts. For the many expatriate construction personnel like me, this date holds great significance. On 2nd of December this year FIFA decides on its bids for the 2018 and 2022 World Cup Venues. Qatar is bidding for the 2022 World Cup. Losing the bid would mean slowing down on all the ongoing projects and possible closure of some. In such and event, there is every chance that my company would graduate from pay cuts to job cuts. Winning the bid would be like adding roborant into my project and further aid to take off the construction activity in Qatar to new heights akin of what we observed in Dubai during the late nineties. The good thing being, that this fever would last for over a decade, and bring along ample jobs and enough dough for all to take away. So, for now I have decided to heed into Sir’s advice, and stall all moves to wait and watch for the next eight weeks. The decision involves football and I am sure to get a kick out of it. What kind of kick? Only time will tell.

So, that was the bad news. And while I wait and watch, may I ask my friends to just go on to the website http://www.qatar2022bid.com and back the bid? A big thanks to all my friends anyways.

Again, I am not just waiting and watching. I am celebrating too. And that’s the good news! Starting tomorrow, for the remainder of October we are celebrating the KeYoberfest.


KeYoberfest commences on 11th October every year with our elder son Kevin’s birthday and ends on 31st October, with our younger son Yohan’s birthday. This year Kevin turns six and Yohan turns two, and everyone is invited to join us in our celebrations. I have a bar full of variety liquor, box full of chocolates and there's plenty of juice and ice cream in the fridge. So here's formally inviting all our friends to join us in the celebrations. Just drop in at our place anytime. We are celebrating 24x7.

Welcome to the KeYoberfest!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Things that I did in the last four weeks.

Today, the first and longest leg of my vacation, that is, my four week long stay in Kerala comes to an end. Tonight, approximately at 18:30Hrs I’ll board a train (If it is on time) to Chennai. And as it always is, this is just the right time to recall and retrospect on my little sojourn.

First and foremost, it does seem like I have hit the wall with my blog writing. I have skipped two weeks of blogging during this vacation, when I am actually supposed to be freer to do more of it. However, I like to maintain that I have been taken busy during the last four weeks. I have been working around my new house; visiting places; reconnecting with my family and relatives; enjoying siestas; hogging, boozing away and adding adipose to my waistline.

In the last four weeks, I have had almost all the keralite goddies that I can fathom of. My MIL kicked off the hogging season serving me a heavy platter of sumptuous mallu lunch. Since then I have not looked back. After 28 days of gobbling up every bit of what was being served, which comprised of my Mom’s, MIL’s and many relative’s ‘salkaram’; an Onam Sadya; a Birthday Party; Iftar Parties; the world’s best Chicken Biryani from Paragon; Scotch Whiskey, Local Brandy, Military Rum and; many many many more portions of Chicken Biryani from here and there, I have added up 5 kilos and around 1½ inch to my waistline.

Alongside having all this food, I have been reconnecting with my family and relatives. My eldest sister, Caroline came down from Thiruvanathapuram to celebrate Onam and brought along with her, Kevin’s best friend and cousin brother Austin. After many years, she tied me a rakhi and her daughter Angelina, tied the first rakhis to Kevin and Yohan. Almost twice a week my dad’s gang of retired cronies would come down for their day long sessions of Rummy and I would join them, not to win or lose, but just to live our family’s good old rummy tradition and be a part of it.


While at Trissur, we drove down some 65kms, where my boys had a great time at the Silver Storm Water Park, located next to the famed Waterfalls at Athirapally. Later on, while travelling from Trissur to Kannur, we stopped by at my favorite Paragon Restaurant at Kozikkode.  At Kannur, we made most of the beaches, visiting firstly our very own Baby Beach and then later the more famous one at Payambalam. Just yesterday we drove down to the Mahe Church and on our way back drove alongside the Muzhappilangad Drive-In Beach, where some infrastructure development work was in progress, and which, my Project Monitoring sense says, should be ready for tourists within another four months time. But yes, don’t expect that structure to last long enough as I didn’t see enough vibro-rollers compacting the base fill for the interlock track. Well, but that’s how construction works in India.
 
Amidst all the eating, reconnecting and sightseeing, I was working around this new house setting it up. Albeit most of my time was spent shopping for furniture and various wares/fixtures, I did manage to find time to fix some Photo Frames, some mirror lights, a ceiling fan and some hooks in the laundry to hang some cleaning aids. As usual, after all the running around and setting up, there’s still a lot to be done and no time left. Anyways, that again is a Home Improvement thingy. It never ends.

And then, there was a ‘Lesson Learnt’ too. Few days after landing into Kannur, I got myself an Airtel prepaid SIM. A little bit of naughtiness coupled with Curiosity pushed my bawdy side into enrolling for something called as ‘AL Friendz Chat’. I called my first ‘Airtel Female Chat friend’ and lo, there was this Call Center Type Biharin female with an ex-Bar Girl like lingo trying to turn me on. I was so distraught with disappointment that I went straight to my wife and confessed. This one was certainly not a secret worth keeping. Furthermore, everyday my inbox is now full with desperate messages. So, here I am advising all my male friends soon to hit the naughty forties – Keep your hands off these Mobile Chat Femmes. They are not worth it.

Although it doesn’t sound very exciting, my days in Kerala were pretty engrossing and in many ways very enriching too. So much, that my activities kept me away from FB in general and pushed me into skipping my blogging ritual twice.

Well, that’s it and nothing else. Just these are the few things that I did in the last four weeks.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Basking in my childhood memories.

Belated Onam wishes to all my malayalee friends.

It has been more than a week since I posted my last blog, and as per my latest mantra, which I found a month back, I am supposed to pen in a regular blog or at least a microblog every Thursday. Last Thursday, I did key in some text in a word document on my laptop, but was unable to beat my inertia and the incessant evening rains to walk down till the nearest Internet Cafe and post it online. Now, to make the link up easier from my end, I have set up this 24x7 unlimited broadband connection at my home in Kannur, and so, am now closing off my much delayed weekly blog.

As expected of this holiday, the sequence of events has so far been pretty eventful (?). For the last few days, I was mostly tied up reconnecting with my cousins who, like me are on their usual staycation or; otherwise working around this new house, setting it up. Rest of the time, which incidentally can also be classified as the major part, was spent hogging, boozing and lazing around.

Although I wasn’t dumped off the flight this time, I did have a good ‘Lesson Learnt’. At the Airport, I found out the real reason why most people detested travelling on a budget airline. Whilst most of the ‘Check In’ counters had beautiful young girls, the Airport’s Authority deputed for us a team of two pathetically slow and lost men. One of which, was an old Chinese man and the other a North Indian guy, who resembled, both by his looks and tongue as a Halwai from one of those streets in Old Delhi. As per the Air India Express norms, I was carrying fifteen kilos of extra baggage, which I later got discounted to ten. Anyways, I ultimately ended up paying a total fare more than the regular ticket. It pained as wisdom dawned at the wrong time, just to remind me that I’d now be travelling on a budget airline (with congested seating) by spending more than the amount that I should have otherwise on a regular airline. And to make matters worse, I’d now have to pay for the earphones and liquor too.

With four hours to spare, I was waiting at the departure gate, fidgeting with my laptop and experimenting ways and means to catch a stronger wireless signal to get online and share my miseries with my facebook friends, when this mid fortyish something lady approached me enquiring for ‘Gate no 17’ in Malayalam. I was sitting right under the board with ‘17’ written on it and so pointed my hand towards it while still focussing on my laptop monitor. She asked me if the seat next to me was free and if she could sit there. I didn’t respond and she didn’t wait for one. She just sat down.


For some time she kept observing me as I was working my way trying to get appropriate WiFi connectivity. She finally broke the ice and enquired if I was a Computer Engineer. That was it. I closed my laptop and packed it off. She had just managed to find what I was so desperately trying hard to - Find a stray sounding board. Like me she was also all excited to go home and seemed brimming with a motley mix of various degrees of joy, coupled with an overwhelming excitement and nervousness and what not. She was travelling on her first return journey back to India after her first ever gulf stint as a Housemaid with a young Qatari family, where she’d just finished her 2 ½ years before she earned her first vacation. And here I was: My last vacation to India was just eight months back and I’d been away from my wife and kids for barely a month and look at the ruckus and drama I was creating. As she kept talking to me, I started getting this feeling that my longing was so puny compared to hers; and more so because I just realized that, that’s the common story of those countless Indian forced singles working on those innumerable menial jobs in the Gulf. I am just so fortunate enough to have my family by my side all the time and I thank God for that.


She had many good things to say about her fertile hometown; the weather she expected back home; the people in general; and above all her kids, who she portrayed as the most naughtiest and yet the most adorable ones on earth. As she kept blabbering about her ‘God’s Own Country’, I kept wondering about my own identity. All that I could contribute about my hometown to our little chat was that I knew my town had beautiful beaches, power cuts, bad roads and lots of strikes. That’s all. I was so embarrassed with my miniscule knowledge of my home town that I got up on the pretext of going to the wash room and just vamoosed off from her vicinity.


I walked away from gate no 17 and hid myself behind a bunch of Nepalese boys lounging on the floor next to the cafeteria and far away from her sight. Till my boarding announcement, I sat there in that corner hugging tightly to my laptop, questioning myself “What am I?” and “Where do I belong to?” Although I was born in Kerala, I am certainly not a pure Keralite. I cannot vouch myself for that identity. I actually know nothing about my so called hometown, Kannur, let alone Kerala. Just because I love being in this place or enjoy savouring the local food and manage to converse in a little bit of broken Malayalam does not qualify my malayalee status. Again, although I spent all my childhood in Gujarat, I am not a Gujarati. I have lived and worked in Maharashtra for ten years but, I certainly am not a Maharastrian. So, where do I belong? Am I just another modern day nomad with an Indian identity? And if I am just another drifter, why do I long to visit these few places again and again and again and what is it that one thing that keeps taking me back to Kannur and Kozikkode and Baroda year after year, every year? Is it the food, or the people, or the place itself? A question, which set me deliberating for days.

At Trisshur, aided by my MIL’s cooking I ended up undoing my strict diet regimen and went about on a hogging spree. On one such hogging spree, as I was devouring a sumptuous stack of Appam and Stew, I overheard Tara conversing on phone to her grandmother, her Ammummu, based in Kozikkode, firstly explaining her as to how they were related and then later on wishing her as it was Ammummu’s birthday today, to which Ammummu asked back, how old she had turned today? Tara’s Ammummu is eighty eight years old and passing through the initial stages of dementia. She cannot remember anything for long; doesn’t even remember her immediate family and so doesn’t have any memories at all. It is all wiped off. I was instantly taken aback by this sudden spate of anxiety and was found asking myself as to what would happen if I were to pass through a one-way phase like that? With the kind of work stress and pressure that our psyche is subjected to these days, that stage doesn’t seem very far off. I am someone who lives and breathes each day by recalling my good old memories and going through something like that would be as bad as being born again every day. Through the consequent days I kept talking to myself reminding me of those wonderful days I spent as a child in Baroda and those many two/three week long annual visits we made to Kannur visiting our relatives and celebrating Christmas every year with my cousins visiting from all over India. Those were the days.


My dad grew up in a joint family and he was the eldest kid in his Tharavad, which comprised of four families with sixteen children in all, living under one roof. My dad’s ancestral home falls within the Naval Defence Security Corps Zone and we had a small pristine beach aptly called ‘The Baby Beach’ all for ourselves. As kids we used to laze around there the whole day and I guess it is there that I actually fell in love with the beach. As I kept fishing deeper and deeper into my memories I drew out reels of us kids sitting potty on those beachside rocks shoo-shooing those little crabs with small sticks in our hand, while dragonflies hovered around us. Each day our respective parents, would drag us from the beach and our many hideouts within those niches in the rocks to take us back home and make us squat in a line on floor on our forced lunch and later in the night deposit all of us in a row in the portico room with a firm reprimand to go to sleep instantly, which we would otherwise spend fighting for that elusive blanket all night long and end up dosing one over the other.

As time went by, people got busy with their routine lives and the usual Christmas crowd went shrinking. Families started visiting at their own convenience and we kids hardly managed to regroup under one roof. The tourism industry in this place flourished and some of our playground, the verdant backyard to our Ancestral Home was taken over by the Mascot group, who later developed a resort at that location and the navy released a restraining order on the use of the Baby Beach by civilians. I guess it is these events coupled with my unquenched childhood longing to be free that keeps haunting me and pulling me back to Kannur. I now firmly believe that my childhood memories keep wandering around in the form of ghosts around those loosely dumped rocks along the azure seaside and such myriad places that I carry good memories of. These spirits keep calling me and pulling me back enticing me into this familiar neighbourhood year after year. This I believe is true.
Few years back, my dad wilfully relinquished his rights off his ancestral home, and for many years, we didn’t have a house of our own in Kannur, but we kept visiting. There were times when there wasn’t enough room at any of our relatives, but we still visited the town and stayed at the very Resort which gobbled up our playground. Last year I brought myself a property in Kannur and laid institution to my own home within my so called hometown. I have since promised myself to relinquish myself of this nomad tag and make myself eligible and worthy of belonging to this place. I also know that I need to expend a lot of effort towards that, which I will do for sure. Meanwhile, till my abilities to reminisce are still intact, let me just stretch out, relax and bask in my good old childhood memories.
 

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Homeward bound...

Ramadan Kareem to one and all.

Tonight I leave on my much awaited vacation to India. It is Thursday and unofficially that day of the week when I am supposed to write my blog. However, I have to check in at the airport by 21:00hrs, so this ‘blogging night’ thing doesn’t look like something happening tonight. Fortunately for me this is the holy month of Ramadan and we have shorter hours at work. Today I was back from work at noon, and so have gathered just enough time to squeeze in a blog. I am done with all the difficult packing and what remains is just to finish this blog and find enough room to fit in my laptop in the suitcase, which apparently looks like a very difficult task to accomplish.

Like each one of those trips which takes us home, for me this one too, is special. In fact, this one is special in ways more than one. But there is a small tag attached to this event, which reads ‘If - you – can - fly!’ Yesterday night, as I was packing my bags, the song playing on my mind was not John Denver’s ‘Country roads’ but R Kelly’s ‘I believe, I can fly’. Although, my version was not driven by the same depth and meaning with which R Kelly sang his, my humming did have its own story attached to it.

Since I landed in Doha on 15 Dec 2008, while planning to travel alone, I have never been able to fly out to India on my first attempt. The first time, my trip was rescheduled four times owing to visa issues and two months later as I was all excited and waiting for the ‘Check In’ formalities to be completed, the girl on the counter, just dumped me by saying “In that case Sir, you cannot board the flight”. No, I did not smell bad or ogle on her assets or pass a trite comment. The reason for her reaction was the most absurd and silliest that one could ever imagine – I was not carrying the Credit Card with which I booked this ticket. However, I was determined to fly and I finally did travel on the same flight by buying myself another ticket. My second trip, which was planned somewhere in August 2009, had to be cancelled altogether and later squeezed down from a month to just a weekend as my closest friend and buddy at work Ashlin, who was away on medical leave would not be able to return back in time.

I was awake packing most of the night yesterday and so was really tired through work today. But as soon as I left office, I had this wonderful feeling of being content and was singing and talking gibberish to myself all the way on my drive back home. As soon as I reached home, I undressed and walked around my house naked as if I was the lone man suviving on earth. There was a sense of accomplishment; I had just done with the 'Close Of Business' stuff preceeding my vacation and believed that this time there would be no comebacks. I reclined on my sofa, stretched my legs out, let out a big yawn and dozed off.


Next scene, I found myself standing on that same point as last year; but this time around I was holding that eponymous Mr Murphy (who was on the other side of the Check In desk) by his neck questioning him crudely “What can possibly go wrong?”
I pushed him back brashly shouting “I don’t have any issues with my visa. I have purchased my ticket with a valid Credit Card. My team is well staffed. My leave is approved by the Client and I already have my Exit Permit in hand.”
And as I walked away from him throwing my hands around screaming “I have closed all the possible ifs and buts this time and if at all anything has to go wrong, it should be purely my doing. No one can stop me from going home, but myself”, I heard this faint voice asking “Which Airline?”
I turned back and looked at his face. He had this twitchy smile and piercing eyes, which now, slowly moved away from mine rolling up, trying to shift my attention to those black clouds growing behind me and rapidly engulfing our vicinity.
I was taken aback by a sudden sense of panic and as I scampered for the nearest fire exit, my antennae picked up a bolt of lightning which busticated me into a freefall.
I jumped off the sofa and woke up screaming “Air India, Air India Express, Air India Express”
Mr. Murphy had just revealed to me the weakest link on my tour itinerary; that one soft spot, which could sink my vacationing plan into total disarray. Needless to mention, I was now worried. This was the peak season and cancellation of my flight would mean being stranded in this place till they make me another arrangement. And, another arrangement would also mean, longer flight travel as I’d have to travel mostly to another destination and then wait for the Indian Airlines connecting flight to Kochi. Shucks. Such a scenario would hurt me at the wrong place, and that too real bad and so I decided to find out what’s happening at the airlines office.


My call to the airlines office was answered by a mallu lady who sounded very lethargic and distraught with work and this is how the call went about.
After the initial greetings, I enquired if the days flight to Kochi would leave on time tonight to which she retorted back saying “Koll dhe eyerport” (Call the Airport) “Well, maam…errr….mmm. I am just calling to enquire… like … if the flight is not cancelled or not”
"Whoot? Wheey?” (What? Why?)
“Actually maam, I am supposed to travel tonight by this flight….errr …I-X-4-7-4 and….like…..I, I, I just wanted to know if the flight will ….. you know …. If it is like scheduled or cancelled or what ..…I am not used to travelling by Express and someone told that…. You know…. It is like…. usually ….it is cancelled or delayed”
“Yenny budy kolld you fram this offhis?” (Anybody called you from this office?)
“No”
Then she banged the phone after passing on this rebuke “Then whey arr you spradding fhalls roomers. Yit yiss noat kanselled okay” (Then why are you spreading false rumours. It is not cancelled okay) added with a nice dose of unmentionable abuse first in English and later in Malayalam. Both of which felt like a tight slaps on my cheek.
I must be the only man on earth, who, after being abused and reprimanded by an unknown lady, was not just feeling normal, but rather elated, jubilant and ecstatic. It was like I had earned some much deserving accolade. That is what the feeling of ‘going home’ does to us. We don’t give a damn about others. We don't give a damn about what people say or do. We just don't care. We are just happy to go. We just go.

This current trip to India is a very momentous one for me. Yes, it is a welcome break from this monotony called work, but it also has something much more sentimental attached to it.

I land in Kochi where, this will be the first ever trip when my wife and kids come to the airport to receive me. During all my earlier visits, I have had to take a prepaid taxi and suffer an anxious and reckless drive till Trisshur.

At Trisshur, I expect to track down and meet my long lost friend from CREC days, B Manoj Kumar a.k.a  ‘Mandu’, who, as per my sources would be supposedly visiting his in-laws during that period.



From Trisshur, we travel to my birthplace and hometown Kannur by road via Kozikkode dropping by for my favourite Chicken Biryani at the Paragon Restaurant.

At Kannur, for the first time, I’ll be staying with my parents in our own house after so many years of parking our asses at some or the other relatives place.
Later on we board an overnight train to Chennai, where I dump myself on one of my closest friends from the CREC days, Harish Kumar a.k.a ‘Talli’ after a span of five years and also plan to meet Girish a.k.a ‘Beedi’, one of my first roomies from Hostel A, whom I’ll be meeting for the first time after we guys graduated.

At Chennai I also expect to meet some of my Facebook friends whom I have never met in person and also plan to attend one such friend’s sister’s wedding!

From Chennai we take a train and travel one night and two days on what will be the longest train journey for my two little boys to Baroda, the place where I spent all of my childhood.

At Baroda, our journey converts into a hegira and attains purpose as we meet the latest and youngest kid in my family, Anuj.
The whole family returns back to Doha on 17 Sep 2010 on a Qatar Airways flight from Ahmedabad.


So that’s it. Just finished posting the pictures and read through the text for the last time. All I want to do now is publish this post; log off; pack the laptop and ressh to tha eyerport yend khatch mei fleit (rush to the airport and catch my flight).

The blog seems done; but not yet. It wouldn't be complete unless I welcome and thank two new followers to this blog: My Facebook friend and a TWI girl Vidya ‘Bidia’ Rajaram and the lovely little cousin sister that I don’t have, Anisha ‘Kuku’ Prakash.

Well, that should do it. Bye, I am going away on a vacation but funnily not going away from any of my friends. I will be online whenever I am able to muster enough spare time from lazing around and yes, will definitely carry on with my Thursday night blogging ritual.

I am going home. And this time I believe I can fly, unless of course the girl behind the ‘Check In’ counter screws my plan by giving me another jolt or jhatka.

I am off finally…. Homeward Bound…..