Thursday, March 28, 2013

Holi me.


Our elders and our Bollywood movies have told us that Holi is the festival of joy. That Holi breaks all the social norms and barriers of age, gender, status and cast. That on this day, words like polite, well-mannered, refined, cultured, sophisticated, courteous, respectful etc etc are blurred out from the dictionary. That on this day it is acceptable to flirt with (even touch) any girl that meets your eye. That this definition of girl extends to include your sexy middle-aged neighbor, your friend’s curvy wife and also your boss’s bossier wife.

Really?

I’ve just realized that all they said and showed on the screen, all that flirting, teasing and dancing while singing ‘jo jee mein aaye tum aaj kar lo, chaho jisey inn baahon mein bhar lo’ is not entirely true. Look at me, I am the living example of a person who tried this and failed on the Holi day. All that I did was poke a girl on Holi and that too not in real life, but on FB. And, would you like to know what happened next? I got unfriended.

Yes, yes, yes. Yes I got the boot.

I know this news comes as a shocker to you guys, but that is the truth, and since what has happened has happened, and since life should move on, I’d Just ask you to stop staring at the screen agape, shut your mouth and read further.

Well, that was just one FB friend leaving, but I am thankful to the others who stayed, and more importantly those who responded by poking back, which felt great. Indeed, I am touched! Some of you even kept poking back repeatedly, which kept giving me goose-bumps. Some, who thought that liking my status message or posting a comment on it openly was not appropriate, did send me their secret private message. Thanks for that. Now my wife will never know who all I played Holi with!

Sincerely, I am extremely grateful for the pokes, which made my day special, especially since all this happened while I was in the office, faking work and pretending to appear serious in the official meetings. I had my own share of shy smiles hiding behind my computer screen. Thank you.

I have been suffering from allergy induced Asthmatic Bronchitis from a very young age, and therefore, although my palms were ever itching and ready to rub gulal on a few rosy cheeks, my movement on the Holi day was strictly restricted. The only Holi that I ever played was during the four years I spent at CREC. Rest of the years, all that I was allowed to do, was to watch the local lads play Holi from the ramparts of my balcony and of course watch TV as much as I could, which mostly aired Bollywood Holi numbers.

However, times have changed and thanks to technology, I have now found new ways of amusing myself.

I am no more jealous of my friends who can actually play Holi without falling sick.

A few pokes on FB are all that it takes to play Holi, and the best part is that I can play it even with my distant friends.

Thanks to MS Paint, I now also have my very own Holi pic.
 
To make my Holi livelier, all that I had to do was to play a raunchy youtube video on Holi while poking my friends online. Gone are the days of Rang Barse and Aaj na chodenge, here are the top five Holi numbers for this year from my private chart. Just move the cursor over the list and view the song on youtube and enjoy.

5. Khelenge Holi Fevicol Se
4. Bajaave Saare Launde Hai Seeti
3. Lagao Ragad Ke Gulal
2. Faad Di Meri Choli Re
1. Rang Special Layo