Thursday, May 19, 2011

Maladies of a 70’s kid – Lacking Internet


My sons, 6+ years old Kevin and 2+ years old Yohan are ardent internet guys. Kevin has been on the internet since he was 4 and by now has learnt a lot from it, including the techniques of cartoon sketching, skateboarding and cup cake dressing by merely watching youtube videos. He even knows the names of all the Ben10 aliens and forms and all the other cartoon characters, what not, including descriptions on their specific anatomies with details on how many arms, legs and eyes each one of them have. Every time Kevin comes up with a doubt or query, we invariably point him towards the computer. He opens the home page and types on the keywords as we dictate to him and lo, he finds his answers, with pictures and videos too.

When Kevin was 2½ years old, he started play school and he struggled; Yohan on the other hand has already started his classes at home. Every morning his homeschooling begins with a review of alphabets and numbers on the website www.starfall.com. Today, I made him a desktop icon to access that website and now he doesn’t even need his Amma to help him open that webpage. He can go on with his class work all by himself. All that his Amma needs to do is keep intermittently checking on and reviewing his performance.    

Internet is really a boon, and access to internet is possibly the best gift that one can give to any kid. Through it, my boys have struck access to the world’s largest free library and communication channel. And I bet they are already using it to the fullest. I so very much miss not having the internet during my academic days. Although, I might have not used it to the same levels as my kids are doing now, I would have definitely got some advantage out of its two main traits.

The free library

If we had internet during our college days, I am sure, we would not have had to tear up our Khurmis and Aroras and share them chapter wise the night before the exams. Seniors would upload their notes and past question papers (which were a rare commodity) and we could just download and practice/use them without being obliged! If we wanted a specific book, all we would’ve had to do, would’ve been to log on to limewire and download the latest upload (err, edition) of whatever book we wanted.

The usual smart asses would have no need to scavenge the library and hide the Civil Engineering books within the Electronics section. Needless to say, the librarian’s job would’ve been a much easier one as every student would be locked in their rooms reading their online engineering journals and doing their own private little thingy, leaving the library free for some bold couples to venture out and work on exploring their amorous side.

I am sure, if there was internet during our times, there would’ve been lesser prying eyes (because they’d have got all what they wanted, through the internet), leaving the girls more bold and yet susceptible to the charms of some of my very lovable friends, who were otherwise rejected.

On the flip side, some of my friends would’ve had to look for alternative means to make money as their ‘Video Show Business’ would’ve not worked.  

The Communication Channel

The padipist (studious) guys could’ve used it to communicate with experts in the field from across the seven seas and get their doubts cleared. It would’ve also saved them all the money they otherwise spent on sending Masters Applications to the various Colleges around the world. They would’ve easily established connection with their super seniors through socialising sites like FB and got free help and advice for their Masters abroad.

The khurapat (mischievous) ones would’ve watched youtube videos and learnt a trick or two on ‘foolproof cheating in exams’.

Again, the khurapat boys would not have to raid the ‘Literary and Debating’ club notice board to pocket free pictures of their junior girls dancing. They could’ve easily downloaded it from the college website.  

Communication between the boys and girls hostels would have been free. The lover boys would’ve saved a lot of their allowance money by not dialling a certain number 3-5-1 for which an exorbitant Rs 4 was charged for every 3 minute call. It was expensive, and man did the hostel make a killing out of it!

Boys and girls could secretly fall into relationships (and also break off too) without anyone in the college knowing about it. No need to even talk to each other in the class.... Just go back to your hostel room, log in and fix a date, time and place and meet up. Wow! The guy could get onto one bus from Kattangal and the girl onto another from the Canteen and they could just meet up at their confidential point in the city with no one knowing about it. Wow again!

The desperate couples through their webcam enabled laptops would’ve broken all the barriers erected by our strict management. And with the broadcasting in view, the boys and girls would’ve always kept their rooms neat and tidy, especially ensuring that there are no undies hanging here and there.

What a loss!

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